When we ran the Swapper Network website, we got asked many questions how to be more successful using our website.

 

One question we got more often than not was:

I signed up to the website but I am not getting a lot of response. What can I do to improve my response?

 

Answer: Think of an online swingers site like walking into a bar with thousands of people. What is going to separate you from everyone else? I once created a list called the ten commandments of swinging online.

Below is what I consider the most important things to do.

 

Now I will go over each commandment and tell you what I mean by these.

1. Fill out your profile:

This is one most people overlook the most. No one is going to be able to find you or click on your profile if you do not take the time and energy to fill out your profile. If a question is asked, you should answer it as honestly and completely as you possibly can. These questions are what help others to figure out if you are someone they want to meet. If you have one word answers to everything, then it not only shows you have not made an effort but it also will not give someone enough information to go on. Also, add some humor to your answers and always place something in your profile that is a dead give away so you know someone has taken the time to read your profile. Something like. If you have read this profile and decide to contact us, then place "Swinger Rules" in the subject of your message. If your message does not include that on the subject line we will not respond to you.

 

2. Always post pictures with your profile:

 

Posting pictures is a subject that I have always found to be a tricky thing. What I mean is so many people block faces out. Some people post only a crotch shot. Some people post cartoons and some people just post a normal photo with clothes on. What I think is the best photo will probably surprise you. The best type of photo to post is the one that makes you the most attractive to others. What is that type of photo you ask? It is a photo of you fully clothed and showing a full body shot with enough detail to show your face. Now why is this the best photo to post on a swingers site? Lets take a look at the why. People that post only crotch shots. I find this one to be the funniest of all of them. I will explain what I mean. Lets say you are corresponding with someone that has only crotch shots posted and you decide to setup a meeting for dinner or something like that. Now you walk into the restaurant and you are not able to identify the people you are trying to meet. What are you going to do? Walk around and ask people to remove their pants so you can identify the pussy or cock you saw online? Sounds silly, but it actually happened to us once. The same holds true for people that only post blocked face shots or cartoons.

Bottom line: If you are a swinger and you are on a swingers site, then post pictures so people can identify you. I know some people wish to be more discreet.  If so, then make those pictures private and post attractive public pictures that do not identify you. Then you can grant access to the private photos when you decide to meet someone.

 

3. Send message to others.

 

If you signup to a swingers website and just sit around and wait for others to contact you, then you will probably be disappointed in the response you get. What you need to do is look for people that appeal to you and send out as many messages as you can. Do not be afraid of rejection. In swinging, it is normal and expected to be rejected. Not everyone in the world wants to have sex with you. It should not be taken as an insult. It is just the way it is. Depending on what someone is looking for, you may not meet their criteria. Example: If someone is looking for only a single female to join them and you are a couple or single male then you are probably going to be rejected by them.

 

4. Always read someones profile in full before you contact them.

 

It is so important to really read someones profile before you contact them. It will save you and others a lot of time and trouble if you just follow this simple rule. Some people add things to their profile to make sure you have read it.  See 1. Fill out your profile above for more information on this.

 

5. Never judge people on what others say. Make your own opinions.

 

This is something I really hate. Someone says to me ..."do not meet that couple because they are crazy people". Some of my best friends today are people that others told me not to meet. Make you own opinions and do not let others influence how you feel about people.

 

6. Login every day.

 

This is important because it will show others you are active. If someone sends a message to you and it takes you a week to open it and reply that other person may just loose interest in you. Also, most websites have a who's on list and it is another way to get you noticed. Plus, logging in every day will give you a chance to search for other profiles and send your messages out.  You never know, someone that is your perfect match may have signed up to the website yesterday and if you do not login for a week you may overlook them. This is because most websites have a who's new listing, which by the way you should always look at.  This list will usually show anyone that is new within the last day or two.

 

7. Read as many profiles as you can.

 

Why would you want to read tons of profiles? Simple, it does two things for you.

   1.  It will allow you to find other people that may appeal to you.

   2.  It is a great example to guide you as to what you may have missed in filling out your own profile. It will give you an opportunity to improve your own listing if you run across a really great profile. However, never copy someone else's profile. Use them for ideas but always make it your own.

 

8. Reply to every single message you get.

 

Why is this important? Well, for several reasons. If you never respond to people you may get a reputation for never responding to people. Remember, you are always being judged by others. The other reason you always want to reply to someone is because it is just plain rude not too. Someone took the time and effort to write to you and you should take the time and effort to respond even if that response is just a simple no thank you.

 

 9. Spell check and make sure your profile reads correctly.

 

If you type like a redneck then people will think you are one. Always spell check your work and re-read it several times for grammar issues. Make it look professional and people will have more respect for you.

 

10. Network

 

Sending messages, replying to messages, talking with people, reading profiles, telling others about someone else and meeting people are the most important aspects of swinging. If you try to build friendships first you will have more gratification, then if you are someone that I call a bed notcher. Meeting people for sex only is ok for some people, but it is not my cup of tea. I would rather meet people that I can include in my circle of friends. This way we can all get together in a group setting and everyone knows everyone else. To me, these types of meetings are always the funnest.