The rules of Swinging
The cardinal rule of swinging is:
No means NO
The second most important rules is:
Respect others
As a swinging couple or single, you need to set your own rules and respect the rules of the couples you intend to meet. So how do I/we decide what our rules for swinging will be:
The basics consist of the following:
1. Sexual Preference of you and your partner
You need to know your sexual preferences and the sexual preferences of the people you want to meet.
A straight female or male would not enjoy being with a bisexual female or male.
Some bisexual females and males are very respective of straight males and females.
So make sure you are sexually compatible.
2. Who do you want to meet?
Couples, single females, single males or groups.
Couples should both agree on who they want to meet. Of course, a man is going to want a threesome with another female. What man wouldn't?
You know what he wants, but what about you. Don't forget, this is about your sexual fantasies too. If you want to meet a single male or couples, then you need to discuss it.
3. Where do you want to meet?
The most common places are:
a restaurant
a night club
an off premises swingers club
on premises swingers club
hotel lobby or hotel room
Does the meeting place vary depending on the circumstances?
As couples and singles get comfortable with each other, they may expand the places they are willing to meet.
4. Will you entertain at your home?
Most do not entertain at their home for the first meeting.
Couples with children will not likely meet at home unless their children are out of the house.
This makes swingers clubs or a hotel room the better place to meet for sexual fun.
5. Do you swing the first time you meet someone?
This is strictly up to you. You can change your minds should you meet a couple that you just cannot wait until next time. Just make sure you both agree.
6. What type of swinging do you like?
You can be into one or all of the activities listed.
Fantasizing can be done by watching a porn movie, viewing profiles of other swingers or just using your imagination.
Meeting other swingers for dinner or drinks to make friends. You are using swinging as a social network and not for sexual intimacy.
Watching others have sex at a swingers club or other location-----.
Web cam with other swingers.
Soft Swap is a word for swingers who will not exchange partners for intercourse. There are different levels of soft swap.
You can have sex with your partner while in the same room as other couples. No exchange of partners for sexual favors or intercourse.
You can exchange partners for foreplay, but not for intercourse.
Full Swap means you will exchange partners for intercourse.
Some full swap couples like to remain in the same room.
Some are okay with separate room.
Thus the terms full swap same room and full swap separate room may be used.
Threesomes with another female
Threesomes with another male
Foursomes or two couples
Orgy or group sex is exactly what it sounds like.
7. Safe sex
This is a big rule for most swingers and one of the most controversial.
All swingers feel they practice safe sex, but the definition of safe sex is different.
For most swingers, safe sex means condoms during intercourse.
Some swingers use the honor method where they have a small circle of couples they know very well and are comfortable they don't have any diseases. The rule with this is that anyone outside the circle must use a condom.
In rare cases, you may find safe sex taken to the extreme.
This would include swingers who use condoms for blow jobs and protective barriers are worn over the genitals by the females for oral sex. This is in addition to condoms during intercourse
There are swingers who require you to show you are STD free.
Women, most men are not going to WANT to wear a condom. The main reason is that it does not feel as good. It makes it difficult to get or maintain an erection when using a condom.
If this is a problem, then you might need to find the right condom for your man. You may need to try different brands and sizes. Just make sure it will still protect you from sexually transmitted diseases.
You can spend your days worrying about whether you will get a sexually transmitted disease or just practice safe sex.
If you and your partner cannot agree on safe sex, then you should not be swinging.
Since diseases can be spread from the use of certain illegal drugs. You cannot talk about safe sex without talking about drugs.
Many swingers require that you not use illegal drugs.
8. Birth Control
This is mainly for swingers that have not even considered having children or may want more children in the future. The last thing you need is to find out you are pregnant and the father is unknown.
You need to be on birth control and it needs to be effective birth control. If you forget to take the pill, then try something more reliable.
9. Your sexual likes and dislikes should be made known.
You can put these things in your profile and/or discuss them when you meet.
This will avoid most awkward moments.
This can be difficult as you may not know you don't like something until someone tries it on you. That is right. You have to speak up when you like or don't like something. You can do it subtly by suggesting another activity or obvious by saying "ouch" or no". If you are shy, then your partner needs to speak up for you.
The rules of swinging are unique to each couple and they can change at any time as long as you both agree.
Communication is the key to having a pleasurable and satisfying experience.