This is where you need to get creative. Swingers are usually friendly people, so talking is usually not a problem between swingers. However, the point of being a swinger is to meet others for sexual fun to fulfill sexual fantasies.

Somehow you have to take the conversation to the next level, but how.

This depends on where you find swingers.

Picking up a swinger on a Internet swingers website

Setting up an actual meeting with another swinger couple on a swingers site can be relatively easy.

It starts with filling out your profile and posting your best photos(but they must be you and must be current).

Posting photos from 10 years ago will do nothing for you if you really plan on getting sexual when you meet another couple. I will never forget trying to meet a couple at a bar that had posted inaccurate photos. We could not find them at the bar because they did not look like their photos. When we did find them, it was awkward. He had a full head of hair in his photos, but now was bald on top. It turned out to be okay, because I don't mind balding men. However, this is bad news and it would have been perfectly acceptable for us to decide not to swing with them based on the posting of inaccurate photos. If the baldness bothered me, then we would have politely found a way to leave.

Whether you are replying to a message you received or sending your introduction message, there are some important rules to follow:

1. Read the profile.

2. Make sure you have something in common. It could be your sexual preferences, a hobby or mutual fantasies.

3. Both you and your partner should find them sexually appealing.

Now it is time to write the message. You should include in your message:

Specific positive compliments on the photos they have posted. For example: Love the picture of you in the red thong. It makes you look so sexy. Swingers love compliments on how sexy they look. On the first message, you should be a little conservative. Save the "wanna fuck" for another message. You are on a swingers site. Of course, we all want to have sex, but have some tact. Maybe describe how you would pleasure them. Keep it sexy. The point is to turn on and not turn off.
Tell them when you are available. You can use specific dates like this Friday or general like weekends are best. Keep in mind not all swingers have the same amount of time available for swinging. Some are only able to swing once a month or a few times a year due to life circumstances. If you have lots of swinging time on your hands, then consider yourself lucky. The rest of us have work, family and lots of other things that keep us from swinging as often as we would like.
Suggest a place to meet. This could be dinner and drinks or just drinks. Combine your swinging with your other hobbies. Maybe a swinger motorcycle ride, swingers boating or swingers nudist resort. You could meet at a swingers party you are attending, a swingers club or a meet and greet. Pick a place and invite them to join you.

Once you have written a message and sent it, it is time to wait for the response. Please be patient. Like I said above, not all of us have unlimited time to check messages on a swingers site. Between working and family, many can only check their mail late at night.

If you want more immediate response, you can try the chat room or instant message system on the swingers site.

Either way, the point for most swingers is to meet in person. Keep in mind that some swingers are into erotic mail and web cam sex. For those swingers, they will hook up electronically to fulfill their fantasies. This does not make them fakes or phonies as they are still fulfilling sexual fantasies, just not in the traditional way. Swinging is about acceptance of different sexual styles. If you are not into meeting those looking to cybercam or erotic mail, then that is okay. However, do not criticize them or belittle them. You may be a soft swinger and you would not want a full swap couple to call you a fake or phony because you don't full swap. Be considerate. This is why it is so imporant to READ THE PROFILE. This will avoid issues with different types of swingers.

Picking up a swinger at a swingers club

The basics

Dress sexy. This means women should wear something that accentuates her best features. Men should look good too. A nice shirt and neat appearance go a long way. Don't forget your other senses like smell. A good perfume and/or cologne can easily seduce your potential partners.
Let the women do the ice breaking. Why? Women love to talk. Women love to dance. Women get out on the dance floor and get very friendly, especially bisexual women. If you can get the women talking, then it is just a matter of time before the men will join in the fun.
Pay attention. Swinging is like dating. Fortunately, swingers are MUCH more forward about what they want and who they want. Pick up on the glances, touches on the dance floor and do some glancing and touching yourself. Swinging is erotic. Swinging is fun.
No means No. Of course no always means no and you should stop if someone indicates they are not interested.

At an off premises swingers club, you will need to determine some places where you can get sexual because you will not be able to do this at the club. This is the reason many clubs list local hotels in the area on their websites. However, you have to pick up another couple FIRST!

Off premises swingers clubs usually have music, dancing and alcohol. So you can start with a drink or on the dance floor.

At an on premises swingers club, you can have sex right at the club. There is still some effort that needs to be made on your part to find another couple or single for mutual sexual pleasures. In addition, you need to be prepared for the on premises scene. This includes communication by discussing your rules for swinging. Things can move fast an an on premises swingers club, so come prepared.